I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
