i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
