So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
