If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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