Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
