when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
