Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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