We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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