I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i barfeds in our rink
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
