I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
