i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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