He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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