guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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