You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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