I wish I could teleport
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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