everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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