Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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