i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm bleeding and have questions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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