thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
