Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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