Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
