so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have post one night stand depression
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