But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
