You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
