Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
