I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
