Sry I called you an 8
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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