So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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