My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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