You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
