3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
