hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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