Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
