I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
