babies were throwing up all over the place
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
