Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
