Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
