At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
