We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
