I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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