If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
