I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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