it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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