ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
