dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
