I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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