we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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