I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
