I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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