You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
