my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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