u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
