I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
