i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
