Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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